We’re officially in fall and if you’re like me, you feel all the things: a little sad summer is over (I don’t miss the heat, just the lightness), ready for cooler days without the deep cold, excited for cozy nights of soups and movies, more birthdays to celebrate (including my own), and all the scents and flavors that come with the season. And it’s football season too and fan or not, it can be fun to lean into the rituals and activities around it.
But as the invites come through and the action increases, it’s easy to fill your calendar to its max. And if you’re the nucleus (center) of your home, family or community, everyone else’s schedule can end up running yours. You become the meal planner (“What’s for dinner?”), the stylist (“I need a homecoming dress mom!”), the therapist (“Hey girl, I’m struggling, can we talk?”), the seductress for those spicy nights (you know what I mean), and everything in between (don't get me started on if you're a caregiver, new mom, or starting a new job as a Supervisor during Fall). Even if you’re single, you might still be that person for your people and circle.
No matter your role - it can all be a lot and it rarely slows down before the new year.
So how do you protect your energy, peace, sleep, and health when life starts to feel like too much? Here are a few ideas from someone whose been there and still goes through it each fall:
1) Say No
Sometimes the answer is simply 'no'. You don’t need a reason or a long explanation. For some requests and invitations, say no and move on. No is a complete sentence and your future mental and physical health will thank you for it.
2) Decide What Matters This Season
Pick your priorities and let them guide everything else. If you want more self-care, block a weekly “me” slot and protect it. If friendship is your focus, set a standing date and treat it like a real commitment. If your relationship needs tending, choose a weekly (or bi-weekly) regular day or time that fits for you both to connect for at least an hour (life tip: it doesn’t have to be Friday or even at night).
3) Go See “The Lady”
In many communities, seeing "The Lady” means making time to talk to Therapist or Counselor. If this time of year triggers seasonal depression or sadness, or if you’re just struggling emotionally and mentally, don't be afraid or embarrassed to seek professional support. If prioritizing therapy means turning down other obligations too, do it. Your mental health impacts how you handle everything around you. Take care of it first!
4) Save Your Energy, Time, and Money
Fall can make us feel like we have to give, host, buy, and show up for everything and everyone. The truth is, you might not have the capacity this year - and that’s okay. Starting now, skip the comparison game and save what you can in all categories: your energy, your time, and your money.
5) Find a Hobby That Grounds You
If you’re not overwhelmed by people but you feel a little lonely and empty, a hobby can add freshness and calm. If you can, try sewing, leatherwork, gaming, collecting specialty items, at-home movie nights, reading a new genre of books (or leaning into one you love), or rewatching nostalgic shows (our binge-watching new-to-you shows). You can even sample a new hobby each week and make that a hobby. Find what brings you peace, joy, curiosity and helps you feel grounded.
Final Thought
Fall is full, but it doesn’t have to swallow you or your mental health whole. Choose what matters most to you, say no when you need to, get help when you need it, and make space for small things that make you feel like yourself.
Have a good fall season and remember you are important too.
XO - Carmen C.
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