Now, why didn’t anyone ever tell us that growing older is hard?
Sure, there are some perks we get to enjoy with age: telling it like it is, not caring so much about what others think, watching whatever we want on TV, and the occasional glass of wine or spirits to wind down. But there’s a lot about aging that doesn’t get talked about enough, especially when it comes to beauty.
At the time of this post, I’m in my early 40s. I feel more confident and in tune with my body than I ever have before. But watching younger women face constant scrutiny online and in real life saddens me. It makes me wonder how they see themselves and how often they’re told that their worth is tied to their appearance.
If I could tell them one thing, it would be this:
Beauty is only skin deep and your value goes far beyond what’s visible.
Beauty as You Define It
As a beauty and lifestyle blogger, I know how important it is for every woman to look and feel her best based on her own definition of both. For me, feeling beautiful now means taking care of my body, my skin, and my hygiene. It means showing up as the woman I’ve grown into with pride and intention.
But I also know the outside world can do a number on our mental health. Social media, pop culture, and even people close to us can make us feel like we’re not enough and like no one could truly care about us, platonically or romantically, unless we look a certain way.
Let me be clear: that’s not true and you are not beholden to what someone else wants for you or thinks about you.
To Women Under 35
If you’re under 35 and reading this, I want you to know that you define who you are. Focus on becoming the best version of yourself based on your own standards, not the ones forced onto you by society.
Surround yourself with people, information, and environments that support where you are and where you're going. Let go of shame, guilt, and the embarrassment of past mistakes. Explore all the career paths and lifestyle options available to you and know what’s out there, so you can choose what aligns with your life.
You don’t need to prove your worth through your looks, your likes, or anyone’s validation. You are enough now.
To Women 35 and Over
Sis, listen carefully - we’ve always been enough. Period.
We’ve spent years trying to fit into spaces that weren’t made for us and some of us carry scars from that struggle. But now? This is our time to rest in who we are and honor the wisdom we carry.
What you feel, who you are, and how you look is divine. It should be celebrated, respected, and valued especially by you.
Care for yourself, even in the small things. When you don’t have the energy, give yourself permission to rest without guilt. We’ve earned that.
XO - Carmen C.
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