When I turned 40, I experienced something like a rebirth. The way I thought I should have felt at 20 - that excitement, confidence, and sense of endless possibility - I finally felt it at 40. It was as if the world had opened wide, and I could truly be and do whatever I wanted.
I remember the days leading up to my 40th birthday were heavy - solemn, reflective, even tinged with melancholy and regret. But when I woke up on that morning, I felt something completely different:
Gratitude for another year of life,
Joy knowing I would celebrate intimately with close friends, and
Motivation from the awareness that no day is promised to any of us.
That realization pushed me to look at myself with fresh eyes—to believe in myself in the way I should have long before 40.
The Result? This Blog and My Permission to Build the Life I Desire
Now in my early 40s, I’m leaning into my dream of starting a beauty and lifestyle brand. I’m stepping fully into the woman I once hid and suppressed because others may not have always understood or welcomed her.
When I was younger, I loved all things girly, feminine, luxurious, and classic styling. But as the early 2000s and 2010s ‘It Girl’ trends took over, my southern belle-inspired style and life didn’t feel relevant or cool anymore. Old school hair 'wash-and-sets', A-line dresses and skirts, french manicures, southern home cooked meals, and a focus on skincare rather than makeup—none of it seemed to fit the modern script other young women around me were living. The long sew-ins, full glam makeup, and flashy clothing inspired by video models and 'baller wives' were the standard and I just didn't naturally fit that. (Let me be clear - I loved it on other women, it just didn't work or look right on me.) And as time went on and life 'lifed', the confidence I once had in taking care of myself and showing up authentically was overshadowed by life circumstances and this new social era.
Instead of finding, connecting and feeling affirmed with that community of women like me, I spent a lot of time trying to fit in, sometimes in dark places, missing the opportunity to embrace who I really was. What I didn’t know then was that there was a large community of women who shared my long-standing interests, tastes and excitement in certain things and that my mental and physical health challenges wouldn't last forever.
But Now? No More Hiding. I’m Starting Over
I’m starting anew, right here, with what I have and where I am. I’m excited for this journey—not just for me, but for the women I hope to inspire and bless along the way to lean into their own lives.
I have so many plans, but I remind myself to take it day by day, one decision at a time, one creative outlet at a time.
Becoming a big brand or famous isn’t my goal—it’s not about the spotlight in any way. What matters most is bringing joy into my life and inspiring other women to do the same, despite what they see around them or what they think they deserve.
Because every woman deserves the freedom to start, stop, and begin again—at any time. And if you’re like me, you’re learning to embrace and see the beauty of starting over; no matter your age. Cheers to us!
XO - Carmen C.
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